Dreams vs. Family (Part 1)
Family!
As we grow up, we dont see them as often, we dont talk to them as often, we dont even talk about them… unless … (more often than not) money involved.
The funny thing about family is, no matter how far the distance we try to create, they are still the only people who know EXACTLY how to push our buttons.
The people who can turn our day sour or sweet.
The people whose approval we’re yearning (no matter how much i HATE to admit this).
and worse…
They are the people whose love we’re constantly seeking.
So what is it with FAMILY?
Is it the "first environment" issue? or is it just social expectation?
I live far away from my family, physically, but boy… trust me, i can never "run away" from them.
Few months ago before my Christmas return to Jakarta, i had this weird recurring dreams.
In my dreams, my family and I were on the way to the airport. They were sending me back to Australia. There was a sense of "escaping" i could feel in my dream.
The weird thing was, no matter what, i was always unable to get on the plane. One night i was procrastinating at home, the other night the traffic was crazy, and on one "fateful" night when i managed to get to the airport, my luggages were so big, they were unable to go through x-ray machine, my plane left me!
What was that?!!
After a few realisations back in Jakarta, i found that some of the reasons why i live far away was to create some distance with my family… or in "Oprah language", i hype it as ‘running away from my family’. To some level, i was unhappy and ashamed about my origin, where i’m coming from… and stuff.
It was not an easy challenge for me.
Being a witness to the lives in Jakarta, my heart was broken.
Poverty, suffering and corruption… People’s lives are not that worthy.
So… i just learn to ACCEPT.
Accept who i am and where i’m coming from… it shapes who i am now.
Accepting is not an easy task.
But how can you change thing you dont accept?
After that trip, my dreams changed… i was on the plane.
