Archive for September, 2005

Show Me Da Bling bling!!

Sunday, September 18th, 2005

Two weeks ago, i hung out with my friends and their friends.

I had a great time enjoying this funky band who served a fusion music of hip-hop and heavy jazz. Genius!

But my escapade was ruined by this little bitchy asian guy who sat on the backseat of my car.

Half drunk, half dickheaded, he rambled about how he normally treated his gf. Apparently, he’s one of those guys who become money slave to his girl; sugar daddy we might also call. "I always pay for my gf, i gave her a million bucks last year, i bought her designer shoes, etc."

He also boasted about his income and how he always purchased new cars.

And what annoyed me the most was he badgered with these stupid questions about my relationship’s money arrangement. So "you’ll do 50-50 in your marriage?"

I shut him off.

I almost dropped him on the street side but i felt bad for my friend, since it was hers.

So what’s the morale of this story?

A guy who is excessively boastful about his finance size, is most likely to have a severe issue with his genital size.

Yep, normally those who talk as if they were the richest men in the world (and think that everyone else is suckers) need these talks as an avenue to compensate his frustration on his microscopic-size penis.

The bigger the talk, the smaller the penis.

Do you agree?

The "Law-maker"

Baby Stefani

Put the geenie back in his bottle!

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Few days ago, i read a joke in a magazine about a geenie, who would rather build a four-lane bridge from California to Hawaii for his master than helping him to understand what women want.

What the hell! Here’s a kickback i read from my friend’s, Ayu, blog.

Excellent stuff! Finally someone can sum up woman’s feelings in a passage. Very beautifully written.

Warning: this could change your man! Please pass this through.

Baby

————————————————————————————————

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "

Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound… "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money…$$$$$

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money".

"I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation.

I don’t need a simple minded man."

"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked… believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster."

"I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden."

"I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded."

"I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him."

"I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive … he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man."

"I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "

You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I’m worth a lot."

Emotionally Slutty

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

You know you can describe yourself in a thousand ways.

One of my indistict characters to most is being Emotionally Slutty from time to time.

Ask my beloved; how many times has he watched me crying without any reasonable, distinct or sensible reason? Countless, he might answer.

Look, it’s not that i’m proud of it, but when i feel close to someone, i can just open up and let my pride wither away, ie. crying for stupid stuff.

Yes, we girls cry during Beautiful Mind and Pretty Woman (coz such guy doesnt exist… and my beloved thinks Richard Gere stinks :( ) and dozens of romantic movies.

But how could i sob over Law and Order: Trial by Jury? it just doesnt add up.

You see, sometimes as a woman i feel extremely privileged. We always have excuses for our unstable emotion or deteriorating performance at one stage.

I always get away with the PMS excuse everytime i whinge on small stuff. And my extremely understanding beloved will comment no more.

And during this time, i can be so sook (i dunno how to spell the word, but my beloved always calls me this everytime i shed more than 3 drops of tears).   

When Friends series were over… i cried

When i saw a little boy in a mall being ignored by his mom … i sobbed

When i saw the refugee and poverty ads on tv… geez… i changed my sheet

Even thinking about sad stuff that does not happen in real life can force a teardrop out of my eyes. ISNT IT PREPOSTEROUS? crying over virtual thing?… my mind really takes over my body.

Last time when i nagged about my life to my beloved, i had to wash my new towel because it’s full of my teardrops and snort (ick@!#)…

I guess, despite my tough and independent exterior, plus my eternal claim of absolute loner…

i’m just a wussy pussy…