Screw (the) Driver!
uurrgghh…
No, I’m not sorry for fucking everyone!
(now THAT’S my girl)
I’m just practising the anger management theory.
Whether ‘fucking everyone’ is actually an effective tool to vent your anger and take the edge off as a result.
And guess what, i’m the one still who’s still "screwed" 
There, there, so now is the time to switch to "Oprah approach"
Let’s trace back to the root of my anger and anxiety…
okay, i overburden myself, am overloaded with responsibilities, let people depend on me, am involved in too many activities, am too tired now, have too many dreams and ACT upon them, and lastly HAVEN’T GOT ANY JOB, of which my pretentious ass would believe NONE of them deserves me.
Am i overloaded with responsibilities or self-pride?
Am i an idealist humanitarian crusader or a pompous bitch who thinks she can handle the world?
I dunno… sometimes i believe everything goes fine, even though i’ve seen many evidences to the contrary.
But then i tend to pick the loose cozy approach, in which i believe that it’s my perception and decision to feel what i want to, regardless the stimulating situation.
I thought it was a pro-active life approach.
I believe any kind of pop psychology writer will agree with me, call Dr. Phil and he’ll snatch me to be in his rescue team.
However, as time goes by, many comforting and conforming decisions have been made, i began to think… whether i’ve become too delusional to get in touch with my real emotion.
Have you ever been in that situation?
When your heart is so full of joy, your head is determined and your soul responded accordingly, you come to a term of ‘freedom’.
Yes, you’re freed from your physical situation, excluded from worldly interference and you have no emotion to express but CONTENTMENT AND GRATIFICATION.
I’m not saying this is bad at all. Wow! NO way jose ! if this state of being is awfully categorised, then nothing will matter in this world.
What i’m worried about all these is if i’ve become too immuned with the outside world. And that i’m actually deluding myself, living in my illusory realm. I’m afraid that i’m TOO content, that i’ll shut down myself from people’s interference, that nothing else matters but God and myself.
Is it wrong?
…to be continued…
